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        <b><font face="Monotype Corsiva" color="#FF0000" size="4">Whats the worst thing you can say during or after
        sex?"</font></b>
    
    
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    <script>

var d=new Date();
var t=d.getTime();
var m=Math.round(t/100);
var n=m*100;
var y=Math.abs(t-n)+1;

var tips=new Array()
var tiptitle=''

tips[1]='You mean you are NOT my blind date? '
tips[2]='You woke me up for that? '
tips[3]='Did I mention the video camera? '
tips[4]='Do you smell something burning? '
tips[5]='Try breathing through your nose. '
tips[6]='A little rug burn never hurt anyone! '
tips[7]='Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant? '
tips[8]='Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? '
tips[9]='But whipped cream makes me break out.'
tips[10]='Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today. '
tips[11]='Hurry up! This room rents by the hour! '
tips[12]='Can you please pass me the remote control? '
tips[13]='Do you accept Visa? '
tips[14]='zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz'
tips[15]='On second thought, lets turn off the lights. '
tips[16]='And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend! '
tips[17]='(Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay? '
tips[18]='Hope you are as good looking when I am sober... '
tips[19]='(Holding a banana) It is just a little trick I learned at the zoo! '
tips[20]='Do you get any premium movie channels?'
tips[21]='Try not to smear my make-up, will ya! '
tips[22]='Got any penicillin? '
tips[23]='But I just brushed my teeth... '
tips[24]='Smile, you are on Candid Camera!'
tips[25]='Sorry. Can not do it'
tips[26]='I think im gona puke'
tips[27]='I think i am done'
tips[28]=' But everybody looks funny naked! '
tips[29]='You loock like your sister when you are naked.'
tips[30]=' How long do you plan to be "almost there"? '
tips[31]=' Hey, when is it going to be my friend\'s turn? '
tips[32]=' I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs! '
tips[33]=' I want a baby! '
tips[34]=' So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies! '
tips[35]=' (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work? '
tips[36]=' Maybe we should call Dr Ruth '
tips[37]=' Did you know the ceiling needs painting? '
tips[38]=' I think you have it on backwards '
tips[39]=' When is this supposed to feel good? '
tips[40]=' Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs! '
tips[41]=' You\'re good enough to do this for a living! '
tips[42]=' Is that blood on the headboard? '
tips[43]=' Did I remember to take my pill? '
tips[44]=' Are you sure I don\'t know you from somewhere? '
tips[45]=' I wish we got the Playboy channel '
tips[46]=' That leak better be from the waterbed! '
tips[47]=' I told you it wouldn\'t work without batteries! '
tips[48]=' But my cat always sleeps on that pillow '
tips[49]=' Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? '
tips[50]=' If you quit smoking you might have more endurance '
tips[51]=' No, really I do this part better myself! '
tips[52]=' It\'s nice being in bed with a woman I don\'t have to inflate! '
tips[53]=' This would be more fun with a few more people '
tips[54]=' You\'re almost as good as my ex! '
tips[55]=' Do you know the definition of statutory rape? '
tips[56]=' Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes? '
tips[57]=' You look younger than you feel '
tips[58]=' Perhaps you\'re just out of practice '
tips[59]=' You sweat more than a galloping stallion! '
tips[60]=' They\'re not cracker crumbs, it\'s just a rash '
tips[61]=' Now I know why he/she dumped you '
tips[62]=' Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun? '
tips[63]=' You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated '
tips[64]=' What tampon? '
tips[65]=' Have you ever considered liposuction? '
tips[66]=' And to think, I didn\'t even have to buy you dinner! '
tips[67]=' What are you planning to make for breakfast? '
tips[68]=' I have a confession '
tips[69]=' I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home! '
tips[70]=' Are those real or am I just behind the times? '
tips[71]=' Were you by any chance repressed as a child? '
tips[72]=' Is that a hanging sculpture? '
tips[73]=' You\'ll still vote for me, won\'t you? '
tips[74]=' Did I mention my transsexual operation? '
tips[75]=' I really hate women who actually think sex means something! '
tips[76]=' Did you come yet, dear? '
tips[77]=' I\'ll tell you who I\'m fanatasizing about if you tell me who you\'re fantasizing about '
tips[78]=' A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time! '
tips[79]=' Does this count as a date? '
tips[80]=' Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you! '
tips[81]=' Hic! I need another beer for this please '
tips[82]=' I think biting is romantic -- don\'t you? '
tips[83]=' You can cook, too right? '
tips[84]=' When would you like to meet my parents? '
tips[85]=' Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like  Woman: Yourself? '
tips[86]=' Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"? '
tips[87]=' Sorry about the name tags, I\'m not very good with names '
tips[88]=' Don\'t mind me  I always file my nails in bed '
tips[89]=' (In a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls? '
tips[90]=' I hope I didn\'t forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light? '
tips[91]=' Don\'t worry, my dog\'s really friendly for a Doberman '
tips[92]=' Sorry but I don\'t do toes! '
tips[93]=' You could at least ACT like you\'re enjoying it! '
tips[94]=' Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO! '
tips[95]=' Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper '
tips[96]=' I\'ll bet you didn\'t know I work for "The Enquirer" '
tips[97]=' So that\'s why they call you Mr.  Flash! '
tips[98]=' My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer! '
tips[99]=' Is this a sin too? '
tips[100]=' I\'ve slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain! '

document.write(tiptitle)
document.write(tips[y])
</script>
    
    
    
    
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